Foster Me

It started when I was in college and my younger sister was still in high school. We would go to the store and pick out one of those Angels from the Christmas tree. We would read what a little kid hoped to get from Santa, and we would choose the one(s) that we were drawn to. Later, we would drop off the gifts, and volunteers would wrap them and make sure they were delivered by Christmas. I don’t know if I thought beyond picking the right gifts for these Christmas tree Angels and just feeling thankful that I could, for a short second, play the role of Santa’s helper. But then….

Years ago, Rachel and I began the journey of fostering to adopt. Along that journey came a Christmas when we were asked what the kids who were staying with us wanted from Santa. It hadn’t occurred to me that the kids with us were the Angels on the Christmas trees. Rach and I humbly told the caseworker that we, and our families, could make sure these kids had a good Christmas, and it was OK if she wanted to use the gifts for other little boys and girls who may need them that year. She kindly said, no, this was part of how it goes.

Christmas morning came and we watched the kids open the gifts that others had spent time, love, and thought picking out especially for them. The look at the kid’s faces and the happiness in their eyes as they unwrapped their toys and the beautiful blankets with their names embroidered on them felt like the Christmas spirit was swirling around our home just as warmly and lovingly as the blankets held the kids.

I thought it was wonderful to get to see the magic of the Christmas tree Angels go full circle, though, when I think back, I realize it wasn’t full circle, but more of a spiral. Me and Lil Sister picking out gifts for our Christmas tree Angels and then over a dozen years later me getting to see what it was like for those gifts to reach the hands of the kids was just a small part of something more. Children are the leaders of believing without truly knowing. They believe in Santa and Christmas miracles, and let’s be honest, many of us still believe. We believe in the true Spirit of Christmas and that’s why we share what we have with those we do not know. We understand the importance of living and sharing the belief that there is something more to care about than just ourselves. So, we put up the Christmas tree, hang up lights of every color, bake cookies for our kids and our neighbors, pay for the drinks that were ordered by those in the car behind us, donate coats and gloves to those in need, buy gifts for Christmas tree Angels and some of will go to church or quietly reflect on our hopes for the world. All of this creates a spiral that continually winds around and gently wraps itself around our acts of compassion, kindness, and generosity.

This story is special to me because I feel it was God’s way of reminding me of what is truly important – and it wasn’t me. There are so many children and families who deserve to feel the Spiral of Christmas. They deserve to feel loved without reservation and without judgment. And, yes, I did say Spiral instead of Spirit. And, yes, Rachel and I did adopt those Christmas tree Angels.

I am all caught up on laundry! Well, until someone wakes up in the morning and changes clothes.

Rykie and I are the last two at the dinner table. Over my shoulder, I holler at the older three repeating directions they didn’t feel like following. I look over at Rykie and say, “I don’t know why they just won’t follow directions….do you know?” As if she is seriously contemplating my question, she moves a piece of rotini pasta around her plate with her fork, and looks up at me and says, “Maybe they just don’t know how to do life.”

“What we place our hope in influences our ability to endure difficult times.”

Rykie is helping me find a new recipe for dinner. I google healthy recipes for families and then show her pictures and she looks at the pictures and says yes or no. She also makes helpful recommendations on how to adjust the recipe so the others kids will eat it (ex. Don’t put any pickles (zucchini) in it. That’s zucchini. Don’t put any of that in there either.).

Made spaghetti for me and the two youngest. They were in a great mood and not yelling so when I sat down to eat my bowl it was still steaming. While eating I kept thinking this is so good! I made it just like I always do but it tasted so so good. Why? I’ve concluded that eating the 3rd bowl (Rye, Kristen, Me) of spaghetti is way different than eating the 7th bowl (Rye, Kristen, Aari, Jeremiah, Lily, Rachel, Me) of spaghetti. Eating food while it’s steaming vs. lukewarm apparently does make a difference. If only I could resolve all the fussing, refusing to eat, concern over the weight of a fork, the washing of hands, and the million random questions that happens between the 3rd and 7th bowl life would be even tastier.

Grace is one of my favorite words. It’s amazing how such a short, sweet sounding word has the power to ease, comfort, and provide the space we need to allow ourselves to feel how we feel. I know sometimes it can be difficult for some to give Grace to others and oftentimes it’s even more difficult to accept it, but either way Grace makes us stronger.

Off in another room I hear the crinkling of what sounded like Little Debbie wrappers. I then hear Lily saying, “Rykie, you’re not supposed to be getting into those.” In quick response Rykie softly said, “It’s OK, I’m being sneaky.”

“Mom can we have a snacky,” says Aari?!?!! (A snacky is a thing that holds snacks and a drink in the same container…it is also “so cool” says Lily) They cost $14.99!

“I don’t know. $14.99 times 5 is a lot of money.”

Jeremiah (from the other room), “Mama, Mama I have something important to tell you!  When you buy one snacky you get one free!!!”

From a young age we thought Jeremiah would make a great sales person. That day has apparently arrived. 

The other day I came home from a local hardware store. As I was walking out of the store I heard someone say, Paul’s a fag…Paul’s a fag. The tone in their voice was that of disdain. I looked over at them to only hear them say it again to the person they were with. 

So, friends please pass this along to any Pauls that you know. Have a talk with Paul and see how they’re doing.

Paul, any person who is going to loudly spew hate in the middle of a public place has nothing good to say. Don’t listen to them – they don’t deserve your time or your attention. And, if you need help, reach out. Reach out to the person who shared this with you or reach out to me…but reach out. 

Paul, live your best life!

#Pride #LoveforPaulseverywhere